I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
