so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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