Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
