Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
