Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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