Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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