he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
