You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
