What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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