honey bunches of taint.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
