Only a mothe r could love this liver
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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