I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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