I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
