Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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