recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
