This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
