im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
