dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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