the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize