so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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