How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
