She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
