another moral hangover. fuck.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
