2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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