we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
