And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
