...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize