So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Shame - the story of my life.
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