She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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