the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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