He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
