maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
