There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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