From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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