at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
