just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
