Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
