listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Randomize
