If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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