I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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