i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
