I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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