the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
