mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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