the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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