are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
