I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
