Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Let's get the cat blown out
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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