You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I CAN MOONWALK!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
