Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
