think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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