Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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